Exhausted

Cassie and I are both exhausted in a seemingly difficult to describe way. We are getting ample sleep, but we are still exhausted. It comes out in different ways. For me, it’s a chicken and the egg kind of deal. It looks like I half finish things I start. Like I repaired the winch rope yesterday, only to find I only checked one length of rope for damage, missing about 1M of damage on the other half…. so now that’s on the floor not really complete and I’ve lost motivation to finish it off. Another example is the car. I’ve half done the tie-rod ends, but without a tool, I can’t finish the job. So I can’t tell if they are not being finished because I’m exhausted, or we tired because we are not able to complete anything?

After giving more thought to this, I wonder if it’s because nothing is ever finalised. We’re always waiting. Waiting for paperwork, waiting for people on information etc.. Nothing seems certain, conclusive and no one inspires confidence with conclusive answers. Because we are new to this, we need to be lead and told what to do - so far, we are not getting the feedback and reassurance we need.

Here is the joined rope with the tape still on, and the ends exposed.

The lock stitch prevents the join coming undone under conditions where there is no load on the join. Under load the join locks itself by design – almost like a ‘monkey grip’

Finished product… it’s hard to tell were the join is.

Another sore point is work (which is made more difficult by the fact the guys at work read this blog)
Nothing against these chaps, they are great, but it’s a shame that they see my exhaustion at work. I’m so disorganised these days it’s embarrassing and sets a terrible example. Not only is my productivity shot, but I distract them to no end like the class clown. I have soooo many loose ends to tie up, and a heap of work to get done before I can look like leaving and my attitude isn’t helping anyone.

Part 2
Today, I purchased another tie rod separator tool. Well, this time it worked….. kind of. It actually separated the ball from the joint instead of separating the steering arm. After struggling to make any progress I laid down on the concrete, entirely deflated at the failed exercise and wasted days. After hitting rock bottom, I realised that I was 200 meters away from the trusty mechanic. The joint will need to be pressed out with shop press which I don’t have. Nor do I have the capability to remove the steering arm from the steering box. I’m passing the baton, they can finish it, I’ve had enough.

Initially I planned to suspend the steering arm, and just manually point the tyres and have Cassie drive. I inflated the tyres quite high to make them easy to move, but it was still far too difficult. After that failed exercise, we tried cable ties, then a webbing strap (pictured above). We limped the car the 200M to the mechanics with hardly any steering input and with just the tip of the steering ball resting in the cup, it didn’t take much input to make it pop out (and loose what little steering we had).
With some patience and about 10 minutes we had backed it out of where we were, driven down the street, made a right turn, and reversed it back into the mechanic’s lot, ready for work when they get around to it. I feel like a bit of a failure having to have a mechanic finish the job but I have exhausted the skill and tools necessary for me to do the job. When people bring ask me for help with their computers, they most often feel embarrassed about their inability to fix it themselves. It’s funny how I can be understanding of other people not having the skills necessary, but I am much harder on myself, somehow convinced that I should be able to do this. I would say the biggest thing that ever gets me down, is when results of my work don’t match what I had in mind. And I don’t think my preconceived outcomes are unrealistic, which makes it ever so frustrating when I can’t meet even a ‘good’ result.

Cassie did highlight that the car needs an inspection (pink slip) so that we can renew the registration ahead of time. I also felt like a bit of an arse dropping the car on them without booking it in (I did make clear that just whenever they can get around to it is fine, weeks etc.), and also and arse because I have brought the parts with me – that’s always a quick way to annoy a mechanic. After all, I did intend to do it myself, but failed :-)